The Light
by Mccorv3
Summary: The follow up story to "The Dark" - please read before starting this story. Story is told from Mulder's POV. Mulder doesn't know how to come to terms with the change in their relationship. Can he fix it before its too late?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've finally gotten to the second part of the story. Hope you enjoy it. None of the characters are mine, they all belong to FOX and Chris Carter.**

_The Light_

Light.

Blinding white light.

I race from the room, down the hall and into the kitchen with explosive speed. I have to squint against the force of brilliant light streaming into the room from the morning sun. My heart is pounding in my chest, threatening to burst. My breath is coming in quick, shaking rushes. My stomach clenches painfully. I brace myself against the sink, dropping my head down and closing my eyes to the intense bright.

_What have I done_? I question desperately.

I've killed a man. Not just that… I killed a man for her. I've crossed that thin red line and I can't go back. I can't. I love her and I can't go back. I can't.

Scully.

My feelings for Scully have always been my own. I've kept them under the surface, never more than skimming along the top. I have never admitted them to anyone, let alone completely to myself. I couldn't. I couldn't dive off that perilous cliff. So much of what is our partnership is about a balancing act. We've teetered along that slippery slope before especially during her battle with cancer.

I have always lusted after her from afar, ever since that first peek of flesh during our opening case in Oregon. How could you not working with a woman like Scully every day? She challenges me mentally and spiritually on a level I never even knew existed. That's what has always drawn me to Scully at my core. But that body… oh, that body is what keeps me up at night. That body, the one she desperately tires to hide under the professionally cut suits and high collared shirts. I've glimpsed enough skin, had sufficient brief touches to fill my mind with wicked thoughts at the latest hours of the night. How opportune of me that I get to have Scully, all for my own purposes, deep in the recesses of my mind for my own devious purposes.

Now I may have ruined it. Just because I couldn't keep a lid on it, I couldn't keep my hands off her once I got a taste, Oh, how she tasted, sweet and smooth. I may have ruined it all. Not only the potential I just had in that room but the actual lack of a physical or romantic relationship. Since I've felt her, actually touching her in places and in ways I've only literally dreamed about doing with her, I don't know how I could ever go back. Yet, I am here, trembling and away from her. My fingers are still tingling from the feel of Scully.

_I shouldn't have done that_, echoes loudly in the front of my mind. In the back, the more nagging question of do you mean kissing her or do you mean leaving her? Which _shouldn't_ you have done?

I open my eyes and stare out into the light of the morning. It's bright and burning and hard to look at. I use it as attempt to keep my thoughts from drifting back to that feeling, the emotions in the bed room. I don't last long before I drop my head back down and squeeze them shut.

I've created a problem. I've let her see what I've tried so hard to keep hidden. She is my partner. Scully is the only one I have been able to trust for years. I've always trusted her, there has been no doubt about that. I trust her with the X-Files, with my search for my sister, with my own life. Ah, but I've never trusted her with the hidden affection buried deep within my own heart. I've never given her a glimpse of the truth of my own denied feelings.

_What am I going to do?_

There is a soft knocking at the door. My head jerks up. _Who could that be?_ I try to process, my body is rigid and tense. The rapping at the door comes again, louder this time.

Exiting the kitchen, I slowly but deliberately pad across the carpeted floor of the living room to the front door. I look through the peep-hole. Mrs. Scully. Crap. I run my fingers through my unruly morning hair. This is going to take some explaining as I glance down at my shirtless torso. I release the bolt on the door and slowly open it.

Margaret Scully opens her mouth to greet the opening door but nothing comes out when her gaze lands on me. A startled surprise is pressed on her face and in her wide blue eyes. She blinks several time and still says nothing.

"Good Morning, Mrs. Scully," I offer, stepping aside so she can enter. It is unnerving under her stare as she walks through the door, standing in front of her shirtless and wild haired. I desperately want to sink into the background, to disappear. Unable to do so, I do the next best thing and cross by arms over my bared chest. It's the best I can do with the situation as Margaret Scully enters the domicile.

"I'm looking for Dana. We were supposed to have brunch today at Martin's Tavern," she tells me, the worry etched in her eyes. "I called when she didn't show up. There was no answer. It went straight to voicemail. I was worried…"

"I took the phone off the hook last night. It's my fault. I'm sorry to worry you, Mrs. Scully," I tell her sheepishly.

She cocks an eyebrow at me. I know the thoughts that must be running through her mind. She already sees too much between us. Or maybe she just sees it before us. It seems she may be right considering what just happened a few minutes ago.

"Where is Dana? Is she still sleeping?" she inquires, concern melting from her face and a small smile replacing it.

I nod, lying. "She… she had a rough time yesterday. She was…" I struggle for the right words. Why is it so hard to explain what happened yesterday for both of us? Scully struggled for the words the same as I do. My guess it's not so much the circumstances of the attack but the aftermath that is the problem. Something has changed. Something is different. I could feel it changing yesterday and now it will never be the same.

Before I can finish answering, a grated voice comes from behind us, "Mom?"

Scully steps out of the darkness of the hallway. Even with the adversity of last twenty-four hours, she looks stunning to me, enough to create an ache low in my gut. I know I shouldn't be thinking that or feeling that but I can't help myself, not when it comes to Scully. Despite my own feelings, she still looks so damaged from the nightmare she experienced. Her face is porcelain pale against the purple bruises ringing her neck. Her red hair, which is more composed than the messy morning hair I'm currently sporting, is partially covering the scabbed stitches on her brow.

"Dana," Mrs. Scully gasps upon seeing her injured daughter, bringing a hand to her mouth. "My- Dana, what happened to you?" She crosses the room hurriedly, engulfing her daughter in her arms.

"I'm fine, Mom." Scully's eyes connect with mine, so cold and distant. I swallow thickly under her detached stare. "I was attacked while working a case. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," Mrs. Scully states as she pulls back and looks at her daughter. She glances back at me, over her shoulder. "Fox, is she okay?"

Scully rolls her eyes and sighs. "Mom, I'm fine. Mulder… Mulder stayed last night to make sure I was. He… he checked on me this morning and was just about to leave. Right, Mulder? I'm fine."

I guess I'm leaving. I nod quickly, not quite trusting my voice as her blue orbs meet mine again. This time there is something there, just under the surface. Something akin to distress. I'll give her this, I won't stay. It's probably best considering I just deserted her after our attempt to further this… this _partnership_.

Thank goodness Mrs. Scully is too distracted by the condition of her daughter and doesn't pay me a whole lot of attention as I hurry down the hallway to the bedroom. My t-shirt is still crumpled on the floor. I struggle into it, trying not to look at the bed with its wrinkled sheets and jumbled comforter. The reminder of where I left… who I left. The image is stark and too frank for me to delve into at the moment. The room looks so different in the light of the day. Last night, Scully was a trembling and crying mess, failing to pieces quickly. I gave in last night, I let myself sink into her as I took hold of her, trying to comfort her. She's always so strong, so controlled and poised. It wasn't pleasant to see her that way but it was revealing, knowing there was a softer core to Scully underneath her hardened shell.

The women's quiet conversation brings my attention back to the fact that I should leave. I am hesitant to leave the sanctity of the bedroom but I do. I try to catch Scully's attention but she keeps her head slightly turned and away as I walk across the room and talking with her mother. I grab my jacket and dress shirt from the end of the couch, stuffing my tie in my pocket.

I walk slowly to the door. As I get ready to leave, I turn and ask, "Scully, you sure you are okay?" I mean the question on so many levels. After the attack, the nightmare and whatever the hell just happened in the bedroom, how can this woman truly be fine?

She doesn't look at me, her attention still mostly directed towards Mrs. Scully. "Yes, Mulder. I'm fine," she replies and nods. "Thank you. I'll see you later." She's telling me to leave again.

I comply. Mrs. Scully gives me an appreciative smile and wraps her arm around Scully, leading her to the kitchen as I exit the door. I hate that word. Fucking fine.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Once again, I own nothing of the X-Files.**

I let go a big breath of air as I relax back in my driver's seat. Unsure of what to do next, I turn the key for the engine and figure I might as well start home. Just get home and then I can decide what to do next, how to solve this mess I've created.

Less than a mile from Scully's the phone rings, jarring me from my thoughts. I grab at it in the pile of clothes in the passenger seat. Opening it, I notice the battery symbol flashing that it's about to die.

"Mulder?" comes a gruff voice from the other end.

"Frohike? What's up?" Of course he calls me now.

"I've got something. It might be big."

My interest is slightly piqued or at least I'll entertain a distraction from my current situation. "What is it?"

The line is quiet for a moment. "Not on the phone. Too many people could be listening. C'mon by, we can talk here. Se-"

There is a beep. My phone is dead. Damn it. I growl and toss the phone aside. I don't _really_ want to deal with this right now. I just want to go home and grab a hot shower. Well… at least it's on my way home. I'll just swing by.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A cautious Frohike opens the door, looking down the alley and back. He motions me in hurriedly. "Get in," he orders brusquely.

"Nice to see you too, Frohike," I reply snidely as the door slams shut behind me.

He gives me a stern look through those thick lenses. "Were you followed? I wasn't sure what happened to you since they cut our communication off. I was about to-"

I hold up a hand to halt his rapid fire report. "My phone died. Nobody cut us off."

He gives me a curious look. "Oh… Good." He starts walking deeper into the Lone Gunman's lair. "I just got an exciting file from a government scientist. It has information I was hoping you could get Scully to look at. He says he's been working on…" He continues talking but I'm not listening. I'm not following him either.

It seems at the mention of her name, my focus is stolen. Distracted by the mere hint of her presence. My mind drifts back to very early this morning just as the sun's rays were creeping in through the part in the curtains. I was just starting to awake, fluttering in and out between sleep and consciousness. Weary and wrecked, her body was still curled up next to mine. We were so close, so entangled. I could breathe her in. Her warm, clean scent filled me. Her warmth drew me in further, hopelessly lost within our entwined bodies. I was weak. I brought my hands up under her shirt, along her back, caressing it in lazy, gentle circles. In her sleep, her body reacted by pressing further into my hold. I shudder at the memory of feeling her sinking into me, against me. The feel of Scully.

I'm ripped from my thoughts. "Mulder?" Frohike is glaring at me, a mix of annoyance and concern grace his grizzled features. "Government conspiracy not your thing today?"

I sigh. "Sorry… I'm not running on much sleep," I half lie and run a hand over my tired face to illustrate the fact. Really I'm trying to wipe clear my mind at least metaphorically. I need to try to get her out of my head, if only just for a moment.

He huffs indignantly. "Yeah, you look it. Working late?"

"Caught a bad case with the VCS. Helped them bring in a rapist and murder yesterday… and it didn't go as it should."

My tone must have alerted him, he takes a couple of quick steps towards me. "Scully okay?

I bit the corner of my lip before answering him. "Yes. She was injured but she's out of the hospital now. I stayed with her last night to make sure." Is that what I'm telling myself? Is that the reason I stayed?

Frohike takes me in, looking up and down at me. It seems he's noticing the t-shirt, the wrinkles pants and haphazard hair for the first time. "You just came from there." It was more of statement than a question. His eye brows raised and cocked.

I nod, relaxing back against a counter. I need to change the subject, I'm too transparent. This whole ordeal is too fresh, too raw.

Before Frohike can speak again, I ask, "Where are the other guys?" Truly noting for the first time that we are alone.

"Panel review about internet security and government tracking in Philly. Not really my thing. It's all a pageant anyway for all those pretty boy types like Langly and Byers." I hold back a grimace. _Who said any of them were pretty boys?_

There is a quiet pause as he throws me another strange look and considers me closely. "You know, I called dibs on her years ago. She's mine." His brown eyes suddenly holding a heated intensity.

I drop my gaze from his. I worry the corner of my lip again, not really sure how to answer that statement. I've always known Frohike has had a thing for Scully. It was never, ever reciprocated by Scully. There was mutual respect, maybe even something akin to friendship, but that was it.

His brow furrows at my silence. "You always scoff at my innuendos. Not today. Why not today, Mulder?" He crosses his arms across his barreled chest. Shit.

I try to laugh it off, failing miserably at it. "I've gotten tired of mocking you, Frohike. It's poor sportsmanship to kick a dog while its down."

Frohike shakes his head. "Nope. That ain't it, G-man. What the hell happened between you and Scully?" he probes, irritated.

I shrug. How do I explain what happened? "I'm not sure what happened…" I start and then halt. What did happen?

"Something did. Spill the beans," he barks authoritatively.

The flood gates open and I can't stop the words. "The UNSUB, Brent Grendel, attacked her, he was on top of her. I got there and- and saw him on her and I killed him. She was covered in blood, so much blood. I should have gotten there sooner… I couldn't stop her from seeing…" My breath hitches, catching in my throat. "I- It was my fault. I should have protected her. And then when she woke up screaming, crying, I had to help. I stayed with her, while she cried, all night. We were in bed. She kissed me… I kissed her back." There, it's all out there.

Frohike's nostrils flare, snorting out in a heated bolt of air. "You kissed _my_ Scully."

I ignore the obvious stake of a claim. "Yes. We kissed and…" I hesitate, he doesn't need the details. "In the middle of it, I ran out. I just ran out… I'm not really sure what happened." I drop my shoulders dejectedly. That's the truth, the honesty of it.

Silence fills the room. Seconds tick by and I get nothing from Frohike. No look, no sound, nothing. How many uncomfortable moments do I have to endure today?

"You- you had Scully in bed… and you… you left her there? " There was noticeable disbelief bleeding out of his voice.

"Shit, Melvin," I groan loudly. That's what he gets from my declaration, the baring of my soul.

He shakes an accusing finger at me. "Let me get this straight. You and Scully finally… finally get started. You're about to start the forbidden dance, the horizontal mambo, and you just walk away?" He tosses his hands into the air. "What the hell, Mulder?"

"That's not the point," I bite back.

He scoffs. "Then what is the point?" His brown eyes pinning mine.

"The point is.. the point is that we're partners." There it is again, that pressure squeezing my chest tight. "We shouldn't… we can't."

He cocks his head at me inquisitively. "You have feelings for her… don't you?"

I shift uncomfortably, shuffling my weight between my two large feet. "Yes. Of course. That's the problem." Then, even as the words flow from my mouth, I'm just realizing it for the first time. "I don't know how to make the flip. How do you switch from pushing it down, hiding it from everyone… even yourself… to putting it out there, out in the open? To lay everything, all of it, on the line?" I implore him, needing to understand it myself.

"You just do."

"How?" I respond, annoyed at the simplicity of his answer. "It's not that easy."

He looks very poignantly at me, his brown eyes meeting mine. "For Scully… you just do."

**A/N: This could go either way. Anyone have a preference?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I own nothing of the X-Files or the characters. We've seen Mrs. Scully and Frohike... how about some good o****le AD Skinner?**

I am exhausted, despite having finally slept for a several hours earlier. Since waking, I've been laying here on my couch, zoning out on television, for the past couple of hours. I rise slowly, pulling my aching body upright on the couch. I left Frokhike's filled with more unease and angst than when I came so when I finally entered my apartment I didn't stay long. Wired, I grabbed my gym bag and basketball to try and wear out my restless mind and body. Hours later, I returned to my apartment so physically tired and sore that I could barely use my hand to check my cell. I had left it to charge before leaving earlier. No messages. No phone calls. I find the same is true when I reach for it now. I don't know why I think she'll call.

I look over at my clock. It's only ten. _Should I call_? I scoff at that thought. That would be a mistake. I haven't figured out how to explain myself to her… to make her understand. Hell, do I understand it? I want her. That much is true but a statement such as that is too simple for what I feel and what I need to explain to her. I crave Scully. I need her. I desire her. I love her. Spewing all that out over the phone would shock and probably horrify her while ending with my humiliation. I still can't shake that urge, that need to call her and talk to her.

I groan loudly as I rise from the couch. My stomach has been pestering me with angry objections for a while so I make my way to the refrigerator. I have no appetite despite my body telling me to eat. My mouth still has a sour taste left in it, one that has lingered since I walked out of Scully's place. I rummage thru the left overs and condiments before finally settling on whatever might be left in the Brother's Pizza box. I open it and find a score. Two slices of pepperoni with green peppers left. A couple of days old but that's what makes them the best. I throw the first bit in my mouth and grab a bottle of ice tea, closing the fridge with my elbow. I return to the couch, already half devouring the first pizza slice. I guess I was hungrier than I thought.

I try to think of nothing as I watch Invasion of the Body Snatches on TV for the one hundredth time. But my mind keeps wandering back to yesterday, keeping me from truly finding mindless peace tonight. I keep reliving it in the recesses of my mind. It's the catalyst from yesterday.

We are with the team, getting ready to storm the Grendel home. When I get this gut feeling about Brent. I know he's not at home as I turn to scan the surrounding area. His not of the kind of man who can take his work home with him, if you catch my drift. I catch a figure out of the corner of my eye in an abandoned office building across the street from the apartment building. A stark sunlight shaft breaks out from the encroaching storm clouds and highlights a ghostly and featureless figure in the fourth floor corner window. It's gone as quickly as it was there when the clouds roll forward, blocking the illuminating rays and I know it was Brenda Anderson. I lead Scully into the abandoned building without a second thought. I should have grabbed some back up. I should have followed protocol but that has never been my strong suit. I bound up the stairs, two at a time, and not even noticing she's not following me. I am so focused, so driven, as I race towards the fourth floor. I have eaten, slept and worked this case for days. It's all I know. By the time I locate the old seamstress's mannequin draped in lace, I noticed I am truly alone. Scully is not behind me. I try reaching her on her cell phone but there is no answer. Nothing.

It takes me a life time to find them. I know it has aged me, thinking I may have lost her again and that it was my fault. I burst into the room. I see the monster on my Scully. Her eyes are wide with fear, her skin exposed and bared. His pants down, the blood is shiny and red and I fire. I don't breath. I don't think. I pull the trigger and kill the son of a bitch. I'd do it again. I wish I could do it again. Or better yet, I wish I wouldn't have taken that kill shot right away. I wish I could have made it last longer. The bastard deserved it. He deserved so much worse than a goddamn bullet to the head.

So much as happened in the last twenty-four hours. So much has changed. The day, the emotions, the actions have all seemed to blur together for me with a single segment imprinted and repeating in my mind as fresh as newly spilled blood. In the ambulance, in that moment, when our eyes met. That's when everything really changed. It was the first moment I let the honesty of my feelings surface and express. It is the first time I was every honest with myself. I am in love with Scully. She is my world. And in that moment of discovery, I showed my entirety to her, let her know my feeling before I could even comprehend them completely myself.

Flash forward to this morning, when I allowed my emotions to surface to the top again and followed Scully's lead. Before I realized what was happening, my world was different, panic set in and I ruined it. I fucked up. I shouldn't be alone my couch. I shouldn't be chewing on sunflower seeds, munching away worriedly. I should have fine woman next to me, curled up against me. I should have stayed. I should have realized I need her, how much I need her and not just as my partner.

This is the same thing, the horrible outcome I was terrified of as I searched for her yesterday afternoon. I've almost lost her for a third time. And this time it is 100% my fault. No man to blame but me. I need to fix this. I need to mend us. I need her. I just don't know how to do it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I enter the office and at once I know she's not here. I resisted, agonized on it all night and early morning, but I did not call her. I know I can't hold off anymore as my long fingers making a tight grip on the phone. I dial her home number first. Endless rings echo in my ear with no answer. I hang up and dial her cell. Same result.

I sink slowly in my chair and shut eyes. Great start to a Monday morning. She's not answering my calls. What have I done? Did I completely break this relationship, damage it beyond repair?

Time ticks by. Seconds, minutes into an hour. I stuck, waiting on her. I have files to review, cases to follow up on but nothing. My mind is stuck on her. I wish I could say I knew what I was going to say to her. That the hours I spent awake on the couch were productive. But I'm still as confused and barren for words as I went running from her room into the stark light of day. I would have thought daylight of yesterday and today would have helped to enlighten me, to show me the way.

I can feel the twinge travel down my hand into my fingers tips, I want to try again. To call her, to try and reach her. I need to fix this. I have to fix this… us.

As I reach for the phone again, it jolts alive and the ringing shocks be back in my seat. Scully. Her name flashes across my mind. The phone's ring resounds again within the small office and drives me to answer it.

"Hello?" I answer tentatively, holding my breath.

"Agent Mulder." I am greeted with a familiar gruff voice. "I would like to see you in my office… now." Director Skinner does not sound pleased.

I swallow thickly. "Yes Sir." This should be fun. Mondays suck.

I could make the trek up to the Director's office quickly with my long stride but I pace myself. I don't out right delay but I'm sure not making my best time. I need the few spare moments to gather myself. I'm still unsettled. I'm unnerved. Skinner could want to talk about anything, who knows what's on his radar but I've got to be at least presentable.

The pretty young secretary nods at me, tight-lipped. Acknowledgement I was expected. I enter the office. Skinner offers me a nod and motions to the chairs in front of his desk with a file folder in his hand. His brow is furrowed. Yep, he doesn't look pleased. Same as the phone. I suppose it's a roll of the dice. The man is never happy.

I lower myself into the chair as he starts, "Just got off the phone with Detective Rankin. You and Scully were able to identify a viable suspect."

"Yes. We identified Brent Grendel as a high probability for our suspect." I try not to grip the arms of the chair too hard, this is not going to be fun. "He was shot and killed by me during apprehension."

Skinner cocks an eye brow at me and looks down at the file in front of him. "There is more to the story than that." He lets it hang there. He wants me to tell him my side of the story. A tactic used to hang one's self. No, I know that trick. No, he needs to show his cards first. I say nothing. A couple of seconds tick by and he looks back up at me. I didn't think it was possible but he looks even more peeved. He slowly closes the file.

"You and Agent Scully broached protocol… again. You left the SWAT group going to Brent's apartment. You put yourselves in danger. Agent Scully was attacked and a suspect is dead."

I know when he says You, he means me. He never means Scully but I say it anyway. "I am at fault. I broached protocol. Scully followed-"

Skinner put his hand up, stopping me. "Agent Scully is capable of making her own decisions."

"Brent Grendel has been confirmed as the man we were looking for. We discovered Brenda at the scene," I counter. "We could not take Agents from SWAT to follow us. We couldn't take resources away from the investigation. Time was of the essence."

"You couldn't wait until the Grendel residence was cleared? You could have brought support." He retorted, snorting.

"We were trying to save a life."

"So instead you almost lost Agent Scully's." It's like a punch to my gut. I swallow thickly. I have no answer. It is my fault she was almost killed… again. What can I say back? Nothing…

Skinner purses his lips and leans back in his chair. "You also broke protocol when you had Agent Scully's statement deferred. The detective was none too pleased with you and your bullshit with pulling juridical rank." He pauses and set his jaw. "That is not like you, Agent Mulder. You, if anything, encourage relationships with local law enforcement." He takes his pen and taps it against the file.

For once, I actually feel the anxiety from his scrutiny. He's right. It wasn't like me. I just did what I could to get the detectives off of me so I could get to Scully. I needed to be with her and I couldn't until I dealt with them. Again, I say nothing. I try to keep my face as blank as possible under his glower.

"Well, Agent Scully is there now, calming some ruffled feathers you created."

I can't stop the surprise from reaching my arching eyebrows. Skinner pauses and gives me a curious look before continuing, "She is giving them her final statement. I told her to take some time off to recover but I believe she will be in later today. I expect the finalized report from you by the end of the day on this case."

Scully will be in. Scully is OK. I can't stop my heart from racing at the knowledge I will be in her presences. Maybe we are OK, maybe ? I realize Skinner is staring at me, waiting for my response. I shuffle myself more upright, more certain. Clearing my throat, trying to keep the squeak out of it but failing as I respond, "Yes, Sir."

"That will be all."

"Yes, Sir." I rise to leave.

I make it to the door before he calls to me. "Curious, Agent Mulder. Is something wrong?"

I turn and look at him. I don't know how to answer. How do you tell your supervising officer that you and your partner came so close to being so much more and the other one screwed it up but wishes they hadn't and is not sure what the partnership is going to look like going forward. Yeah, not sure how to explain that at all to the balding, fierce man in front of me. Instead, I reply, "I'm not sure…" and walk out of the office.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry this update too so long. I decided to change the ending here so I hope you enjoy - Scully is back.**

It's later in the afternoon and I am hunched over paperwork at my desk when her figure finally graces the entry way.

I blink rapidly twice, ensuring I'm not imagining her. "Scully," I breath as I half rise from the chair when I realize she is tangibly there. Her face is still pale, highlighted by the terrible lighting in here. Her stitches at her temple look angry and red.

"I was giving my statement to the Annapolis police department. I'm sorry I missed your calls," she responds, walking into the office, deliberately not making eye contact with me. She tries to move normally but I see the minute details of soreness and pain.

"I know. Skinner told me. I could have gone with you," I come back, a little too eagerly. Might as well show all my cards. "I could have taken you."

She shakes her head. "I stayed at Mom's last night. She took me this morning. I was fine, Mulder."

Thank God she wasn't alone last night. I spent hours wondering if I should call, if I should check on her. I should have known Mrs. Scully would have taken care of her.

Scully stops at the edge of my desk. "Oh… good," is all I am able to respond with.

Then, there it is again. That uncomfortable silence. It lays heavy in the air of the office. A second, then another ticks by and I'm frozen. I don't know what to say, how to start.

Scully takes the lead, delivering us out of the quiet. "What are you working on?"

I finger the files in front of me. "Uh, the Grendel file. Skinner asked for the report as soon as possible."

Her eyes come close to finally meeting mine. She raises an eyebrow. "You? Doing paperwork?"

I give her a shy smile back. Maybe we are not as broken as I thought. "Sure thing. I'm full service, you know-" I stop as soon as I realize what it's going to sound like but it's too late. I see her betray a slight cringe. Crap.

"Scully…I-"

She shakes her head and turns away from me. "I'm tired, Mulder. I think… I think I'll go home to rest." Scully starts walking towards the door.

Crap! This can't be happening, I can't let this happen. My pulse has increased, pressing a pounding heart against my ribcage. "Scully," I call out to her as she reaches the doorway.

She doesn't turn around but drops her head, defeated. She reaches a hand to grip the door frame, leaning slightly on to it. "Don't, Mulder. Please, don't. Just let me go. I'll be fine… we'll be fine." Her voice is shaky and forlorn.

I swallow thickly, what have I done?

Scully unsteadily continues, "Give me a couple of days. It'll be fine. Just let me go." She's stated her case. She needs her space, some distance and then we'll be fine. She takes a tentative step in the darkening hallway, taking herself further from me.

"No," I reply, my tone dry and harsh. I am desperate.

"Please, Mulder," she pleads softly, her back stiff and straight. "It can all just go back to the way it was."

I take a deep breath. Flip. Here goes everything. "No," I repeat, the edge lifting from my voice, making it softer, quieter. Here goes my admission. "I don't want to go back to the way it was, Scully."

The silence again. Then a horrible thought settles into my stomach like a stone. What if she doesn't want to go in this direction? Did she really want things the way they were? When we both kept our silence, when we denied the one truth that was hidden between us?

Finally, ending my agony, Scully turns and locks her crystal blue eyes with mine. Her eyes are swirling with so many emotions. Anger. Sadness. Humiliation. Hopelessness. Oh, Scully, what did I do to you…

"Scully," I plead softly, begging her for something, some sign of hope. I come around the corner of my desk. I am afraid to cross the rest of the distance between us so I stop there, waiting for her next move.

There is a small inflection, a crinkle in her eyes. "I could use a…" she falters, her gaze dropping.

It's so hard for her to ask for help, for anything. I prod, trying to help, "What?"

She blinks and returns her blue eyes back to my hazel ones. "A ride. I could use a ride home. My mom drove me to Annapolis office this morning. I got a ride here. I don't want to ask her for another ride home."

I nod, a little to eagerly. "Sure. I can do that." It's something. It's a start. It's all I need.

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She's trapped in the car with me. It's the closest we've been since our bodies entwined and our lips were locked. The electric and uncomfortable energy is almost tangible between us. Neither of us can escape as I drive us down the road. If I don't do it now, I'll lose my momentum, my courage from earlier in the basement.

"I meant it," I bulrt out, breaking the silence.

Scully gives me a sideways glance. "What?"

She's not going to make this easy. "I don't want things to go backwards. I know I messed up. I know I… hurt you. I'm sorry." She folds her hands neatly in her lap and nods. I continue, "We have… had… have…" _Right words, why are you evading me_? "Our partnership, both at work and our friendship, I value it so much. Scully, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you… ever… The suddenness of what happened between-"

"Sudden? You didn't know? You didn't see this coming?" She cocks her head and gives me a curious look.

I return the perplex look as I shoot a glance at her. _Did she just tell me she's had feelings for a long time_? _How much freaking time have we wasted_? "No. I know- I knew it was there on my side of the field. I know how I feel about you, Scully. You… you have a good poker face."

She gives me a shy smile. "Yes. I suppose I do. I've worked very hard at it all my life. I… Thank you, Mulder."

Again, this woman completely confuses me. Why is she thanking me? "For what?" Getting her attacked? For abandoning her yesterday? For trapping her with this half-assed and lukewarm declaration of feelings? Never been more obvious I don't have much relationship experience.

"For saying _No_. For stopping me in the office. For being the brave one."

I give a shake of my head. "I didn't take the first step. I'm not the one who kissed me." I paused, consider it briefly, and then go for it. "And a damn fine kiss it was."

A blush graces her cheek bones as she tucks a stray strand of red auburn hair behind her right ear. Damn, this woman is beautiful.

"I'd like a second change. If that's okay with you? I'm not saying I'm not going to mess up again. But I'd like to see where we could go." Was there really any question of where this was going? This was all or nothing. There was no middle ground between her and I if we crossed this line. She is my earth, my air, my life. Without her, there is nothing.

"I think we could," she returns gently.

I'm grinning as we pull up to her place. We both get out of my car and walk slowly to the entrance. I'm not sure what to do. I think the same is true for Scully. We pause at the door way, neither sure of the next move.

"Do you…" "I think…" We both start at the same moment. A nervous laugh escapes me. I'm still carrying an unsettling feeling around instead of me despite how well the conversation in the car went. I don't know why, I just am. It sort of scares me. Scully smiles shyly up at me. I nod at her, offering her to go first, trying to be a gentleman. Ladies first but really it's cowardice. I want to know what she wants to say to me.

"I was… Would you like to come up with me?" she asks me softly.

I nod before she finishes the sentence. "Yes, Scully. I would love to."

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Scully is on the other end of the couch, her back against the armrest. She has an afghan draped over her outstretched legs and a cup of tea in her petite hands. I'm at the other end, a beer in one hand and relaxed back with my long legs strewn out in front of me. My free hand is resting on her feet, rubbing them absently.

We've been talking for hours, the sun has set. The darkness has engulfed the world outside but in here, there is light between us. I can see it shimmering in her eyes. The easy way we slipped back into our connection. Relief has been seeping deep into me, full relaxing me after a great dinner and hours of conversation. I have my Scully back. I didn't ruin us, my chance.

A small yawn escapes Scully, she tries to hide with the cup but I notice.

I give her delicate feet a soft squeeze. "Am I not good enough company? Tiring of me already?" I tease.

She gives me a half-smile and shakes her head. "No, it's just getting late."

There it is again, my cue to leave. I nod in agreement and take my last swig of the beer I'd been nursing for an hour. "Yeah, I guess I hadn't realized the hour."

She unravels herself from the afghan and rises from the couch gracefully. "I'm tir-"

I interject, "Don't worry. I'm leaving." I really don't want to leave but I don't want to actually hear her asking me to leave from her lips.

Scully shoots me a dirty look. "No. You interrupted me. I was going to say… well, I guess I'm tired of waiting for you to make a move. Come to bed." There is a heat in her eyes and slight blush on her cheeks as I watch her walk away from me and down the hallway to her bedroom. She has shocked me into a dumbfounded silence. _Did I really just hear that? I'm not imaging that just happened_?

I swallow thickly. _Don't screw this up again_, I remind myself. And with that I don't allow any more time to pass and follow the path she took moment earlier. I follow my Scully.

**A/N: It's almost done, one last chapter...**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ok, here we are at the end. Sorry it took so long, I had to rewrite the last 3 chapters for a better out come for our FBI duo... Oh and I had to update the rating to M. I hope you enjoy.**

Scully is standing at her dresser, taking off her sensible earrings. I pause a few feet from her, at the foot of her bed. I'm not really sure what to do next, I've never been this nervous before. Heck, even the last time I wasn't this nervous, I was more eager than anything. This… this is different.

She smiles slowly at me in the mirror as she places her cross necklace in her jewelry box. "You came."

"I'm not leaving either," I say, reassuring her as much as I am me.

She turns around and looks at me with those sapphire eyes. In the dim glow of the lamp on the nightstand, I am blessed with a moment to appreciate her features. Her flaming hair highlights her beautifully flawless ivory skin. Her rose lips are pulled into that reassuring smile. The bruises on her neck are diminished but still there, shadows of purple and green. She surprises me by starting to undo the top button of her blouse. I don't know if I can take much more as her fingers trail an opening path down her body. Slowly, so slowly, I watch those nimble little fingers pop each ivory button open, revealing more flesh with each one.

I am frozen. I don't move… I can't move as Scully allows her blouse to fall to the floor, exposing a beige bra. I can barely keep my jaw from dropping at the site of the creamed tops of her breasts straining against the lacy cups. My eyes are locked there, my heart thumping in my chest and a growing strain in my pants.

Scully lets a little sigh escapes her. "I'm going to have to wait all night, aren't I?" she teases lightly and reaches behind her. A moment later, the bra follows the blouse to the floor. Her breasts are perfect, wonderful, beautifully tipped with coral buds. As she reaches for her pants button, I rush forward. I can't keep standing there, this is going too fast. I need to slow us down. I grab her wrist, stopping her as I capture her lips for a tender and slow kiss. I rest my other hand at her waist, griping her soft flesh. The kiss lasts longer than I intended but once I have her, I can't seem to let go. She reaches a hand up and takes a hold of my shirt tightly; the whimper that escapes her is sweet music to my ears.

Finally, I break away from her lips. In the inches between us, I reach low and undo her pants. I push them down over her hips, leaving the matching lace beige panties in place. I allow my fingers to brush over them on the way up and my erection seemingly grows exponentially.

I don't want this to be over quickly. I know it's been a forever for me and I'm guessing about the same amount of time for Scully. I want this to last, I want this to be good. I take her hand and lead her over to the bed. As I peel my own clothes off, she relaxes back onto the mattress, resting her head on a pillow and eyeing me seductively. As I pull off my boxers and my erection springs forward, her eyes grow a bit wider. I know I'm a bit larger than most men and I get a rush of male pride at the appreciative smile that slowly plays over her face.

She beckons me to her. I comply and climb into the bed, easing my body against the softness of hers. Her arms envelope me and I kiss her again. Our tongues mingle, a slow dance at first but more fervently as I reach a hand up to stroke her jaw line. My fingers continue down gingerly along her neck and shoulder. I pause from our kiss and look down at my target. I take the full weight of her breast, appreciatively at first and then more firmly. I strum my thumb over her coral peak and I hear the sharp intake of her breath. Her nipple instantly becomes hard under my caress. I groan and can't stop myself from capturing the nub between my lips. I suckle gently, eliciting a soft moan from my Scully. Her hands find my hair, entwining her fingers in my dark locks. I spend equal time on the other nipple, twirling the bud with my tongue. Her body begins to twist under mine, moving against me erotically.

I allow my hand to skitter down her ribcage as I continue to tease her with my tongue. My long fingers reach the hem of her underwear, striving for a goal. Fingers dip under the band and I part the soft curls I find, seeking her center. I find the warmth, the silkiness of her. A groan escapes my lips that are still surrounding to her nipple as my finger dips into her wetness for the first time. She arches with her body and whimpers, making my cock twitch against her leg. Dear Lord, I doubt this is going to last as long as I'm intending. I need to see her now, right now. I rise above her, releasing her nipple, wet from my attention. I briefly dive for the other hard peak, giving it a teasing suckle as I settle between her legs. Scully parts her knees to accommodate my size better.

I sit up, rocking back onto my knees between her parted thighs. I hook my fingers under the band and pull the panties down slowly. Scully assists by rising her hips slightly. I pull the lacy garments down her legs, brushing my fingers against her muscular calves. There it is. Scully is completely bare and naked in front of me. Her neatly trimmed curls at the apex of her thighs, the moistness glistening from underneath. I run my hands up along her legs, leisurely and deliberately. Her hooded blue eyes watch me, her swollen pink lips parted in panting breaths.

Lowering myself, I place a soft kiss to her inner thigh. I move to the other, pressing my lips to the crux of her pelvis. Another soft whimper escapes my Scully as I move to her center, brushing my lips just below her auburn curls. I use my tongue searching, parting her moist lips. I find what I'm looking for and circle her nub with my tongue slowly.

My name escapes a breathless Scully as I continue my attention of her. I know I'm pleasing her as I receive a small tug of my hair and her hips surge forward. It's been too long for both of us. My hands find her hips, helping to pin her down to the bed as I use my tongue deeper, tasting her sweetness for the first time. I circle slowly before diving completely in.

Her breaths are shaky and coming faster, I know she's close. I take one hand from her hip and bring it down to her warmth. One long finger parts the dripping lips, gliding in effortlessly due to the wetness. I center my attention back to her clit, sucking gently on the swollen nub. Her grinding against my face increases, her breathing becoming panting mixed with sweet moans. I don't know how much more of this I can take. My dick is throbbing between my thighs, aching to feel the warm wetness pooling before me. I slip a second finger in, Scully is so tight, so sweetly tight. It's mind-blowing as I think about my cock sliding into her. I groan against her just from the thought.

Then, her thighs become rigid and she arches more completely, straining against me. "Mulder, yes, yes," she cries out and I know she's gotten release. I continue to suckle her gently as the waves rock her body.

"Oh, God, Mulder. Oh my," she sighs when she finally relaxes back and I creep up her body, pausing to run my tongue over a hardened nipple.

"Yes, Scully," I croon, nuzzling against her neck and setting my weight between her quivering thighs.

She wraps her arms around my neck, drawing me tight against her. "That was so amazing."

"Good," I murmur, nipping her neck lightly. I shift up, feeling my member rubbing against the damp heat in front of me. I press my lips against hers, slipping my tongue into her willing mouth. My head is swimming, the realization that this is happening. I'm with the woman I love and I know I should tell her. Now is the time. I need her to know. No more silence between us, no more wasted time. It's time for the truth.

I pull back and wait a moment for her eyes to lock with mine. I bring a hand up to cup one side of her face, soaking in the beauty of her. "You need to know."

She strokes her finger slowly down my back. "I need to know what."

"That I love you," I declare, sounding so sure of myself. And of that, I am. It's the reciprocation that creates the butterflies in my stomach.

She closes her blue eyes and draws in a deep breath. Her fingers make a delicate set of circles on my back. I breathe her in as a moment passes and then a second. She shifts her hips, opening more fully to me and I sink into her slowly, slipping into the wetness. I press forward, fully and deep. God, it feels so good but I don't move yet, I'm almost afraid to. I'm so close so I wait, I wait for her.

Scully opens her eyes to me. Blue, open and crystal, almost sparkling. "I love you too," she reveals, her lips curling into a smile. I capture her lips, perhaps bruising them a little with my force. She loves me. This amazing woman, my partner, my friend, loves me back.

We start to move, perhaps a little awkwardly at first, getting the kinks out of the way but we find our rhythm gradually. Words cannot describe the feeling of Scully's body melding into mine. It is more extraordinary than any of my late night dreams ever even tried to be. Our pace increases, a light seen of sweat starts for form on my perfect Scully. A low moan escapes her parted lips and I'm spurred forward, increasing my depth and pace. The feel of her gently stroking my back turns into nails raking down my back. Her walls tighten against me, letting me know she's getting close again and this time so am I. I reach a hand between us, gliding towards her swollen bud. A little delicate pressure is all that is needed before my name is once again a cry from her lips and her muscles contract, sending beautiful waves over my cock. It's more than I can handle. I thrust in deeply one last time before I find my release. My body is overpowered by the force and jerks forward as I spill forth, trying hard not to fall completely forward on Scully.

It takes a minute for both of us to recover and catch our breath. I slide to the side and bring her with me, wrapping her in my strong arms. I'm afraid to let her go. This all might not be real. I need to hold on to us just in case it's not. She snuggles into me and I relax into the bed. My age shows, my eyes start to drop with her warmth and late hour. I just have to hang onto her, I can sleep if I hang onto her.

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The light filters in, morning has broken.

I've been here before, a few days ago. Ok, so I had clothes on the last time but still, I've been in this bed, early morning, with the woman I love in my arms. The difference is the fear, the apprehension is gone. I can't even believe I felt it before. How could I not know this is where I was supposed to be? I tighten my hold on her, stroking her back and letting my hand float down to her firm buttocks.

Scully sighs softly and nuzzles my chest gently. "Mulder, don't you think it's a bit early?" Even as she says it, her hand is drifting down and engulfs my length. I must admit, it's already half way there but her touch brings it completely to life.

"We've got some time to make up for, don't you think?" I ask, pulling her head back for a soft kiss.

She opens her sleepy eyes and smiles coyly at me. She gives me a gentle squeeze down below. "Yes, I guess we do." The brilliant blue is striking in the hazy light of dawn. There is no shadow there, no dark stain that I've seen lingering in them before. Now there is hope, love and light.

In the sunlight, I kiss her, this woman I love and she kisses me back.

**A/N: I hope I did everyone justice. I've got a one shot or two in me for this group of characters so I'll be back later this year. But for now, I'm off to a TWD fanfic for a bit :) See you soon!**


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